Maybe you’re all sick of hearing about Captain America. But not sick of looking at him, right?
But this post isn’t about Cap. Or his falling out with Iron Man in the newest Captain America film. This blog is about a woman’s need to find a hero.
Yes, this is probably the point where all the “I don’t need a man” women will want to stop reading. I won’t make women out to be weak and needy in this post, but I will expound on proven psychological needs.
Iron Man’s Appeal
During one of my lengthy Twitter conversation with an author friend of mine, she admitted Iron Man is a more interesting character. During the breakup of the Avengers, she sided with him mostly because she liked his attitude.
Tony Stark is the king of snark. His deadpan sarcasm adds plenty of entertainment value in the Marvel universe.
Funny, sure. But also a player. Even if he loves Pepper, he can’t commit to what she wants.
Maybe that means she isn’t the right woman for him. But it could also mean he’s not the man for a long-term relationship.
Nothing wrong with that. As long as you’re on the dating stage and aren’t looking for anything permanent.
For me? Dating was the interview process for finding Mr. Right.
Why Cap is better for the Long Term
Enter my ideal hero: Captain America. Decades encased in ice couldn’t change the love he had for Peggy Carter.
Let’s consider that Steve Rogers grew up in a different culture than Tony Stark. There were no electronic gadgets. He could barely scrape together money for bus fare.
It was a time when women wanted a man to take care of them. This wasn’t about jobs or perceived weakness. Women had value as the queen of a man’s domain.
Every king needs a queen, right? (Although it doesn’t appear that every queen needs a king if you look at matriarchal monarchies. That’s a different topic.)
Steve Rogers stands up for those who need an advocate. He’s willing to throw himself on a grenade for a group of strangers. His life has value only as long as he can help other people defeat their bullies.
The reason he was attracted to Peggy Carter was because she didn’t need to be rescued. But Steve saw her as someone who DESERVED to be protected.
He respected her for who she was. She hated that he wanted to protect her because she thought it meant he considered her as less, as needy. But his charm won her over once she realized his respect knew no bounds.
She could see that for the long haul, Steve would treat her right, stand by her and put her needs above his own (although not above those of the world when it needed saving).
Iron Man or Captain America
What’s your opinion?
Do you think Iron Man would be more fun on a date than Captain America?
Or maybe, like me, you’d prefer a man whose goal is to be YOUR hero. He’s not worried so much about saving the world as making it a place fit for his queen.
Maybe this means I wouldn’t marry either of these guys.
I’ve already found my hero. And married him.
Let Cap save the world (it needs saving for sure). Meanwhile, my superhero makes my favorite breakfast on the weekends.
What do you think? Is Captain America marriage material? Or would you take Iron Man instead?
I have always been a staunch Cap supporter. Tony is a rich playboy who happens to be a mechanical genius but he thinks as a child: no thought for consequences. Steve is a traditional patriot who knows and speaks truth. I don’t want to date either one, but it seems a man who weighs things out is better than a “let’s see what happens next” type of guy.
But which one would you steer your daughter to date?
As I said in my conclusion, there will always be sacrifices if you choose a guy with a heroic mindset. He will want to set everything right, and sometimes that will put his “girl” on the back burner.
That’s why I’m happy with my own home-body-hero. After more reflection on this topic, I’m not sure any superhero is “marriage” material, but Steve is the type to respect a girl. Tony, I’m sad to say I don’t think he knows what true love or friendship looks like. He’s been able to buy everything he thought he wanted…and still he’s riddled with guilt and dissatisfaction.
Captain America is date worthy and definitely the long term relationship man! You and your hero are such a cute couple.
I find too much sarcasm in every day conversation and relationships. I enjoy Caps honesty, integrity and focus in his life, relationships and conversation.
Honesty and integrity are a must for any relationship to make it for the long haul.
I’m also guilty of the sarcasm thing. Whoops!