Things happen. Sometimes these events bring joy and laughter. Or “The Imperial March” plays while the Force wreaks doom and destruction.
Life always brings us both. Maybe not in equal doses, but if there was only gloom, we’d lay down and quit. I’ve tried this a few times. Apparently, I haven’t found the correct person to submit my letter of resignation to yet *shrugs*
When life mimics and emotional roller coaster, fatigue sets in.
Some of you might love the thrill of the sudden drops and twists of a roller coaster. Me? I’ll pass. Hand me the camera. I’ll snap a shot or two while you’re hanging upside down on the loop-de-loop.
Unfortunately, I don’t have the option of being a bystander on life’s roller coaster. To be honest, I wouldn’t want to just watch. Life is meant to be lived. You never know if you’ll get 10 years or 100, so it’s best to ride it for all it’s worth.
Sometimes my car needs to take a break though. My emotions aren’t built for the constant rubber-banding from one extreme to another. Finished a novel – success. Mom’s on hospice – disillusionment.
When it goes on for months, I feel like puking my tears and laughter out just so my chest can be empty for once. Numb. Not wrung like a dishtowel stuck in the agitator.
Two funerals in a week – sadness. Positive feedback from beta readers – encouragement. Interning the ashes – devastation. Waking up early to be reminded of the emptiness – bleak. Finishing the revisions on schedule – accomplishment. Ordering the sign for the memorial garden – lost.
And on and on it goes. Until my Emotional Fatigue Syndrome kicks into high gear, meaning I’m laid out flat. Sleep, yes please, rather than doing anything else. Sleep, not when it’s dark and quiet and everyone else snoozes.
Every muscle aches. How many times can I be thrown into that safety bar across my lap? Apparently, one more. Until my diaphragm is damaged, and I can no longer breathe.
Perfect. Suffocation will be better than grief. Unsurprisingly, they’re one and the same. Who knew?
The prescribed pills don’t push it back. Even the glorious sunshine struggles to keep the dark monster at bay.
How do I treat Emotional Fatigue Syndrome? Does anyone know where the lever is that shuts this emotional roller coaster off?