Everyone Struggles but Gratitude Can Help

This year, more than others in recent memory, has been plagued with struggles of unique and troublesome sorts for our nation and community. In the midst of this, giving up might seem expedient but I suggest giving thanks instead.

It’s been awhile since my year of gratitude (that was 2016), but those #366DaysofGratitude taught me to cultivate an attitude of gratitude from the moment I wake up each morning.

Every day is a good day to be thankful for stuffing/dressing.

And I struggle with this. Some mornings when it’s dark outside and I didn’t sleep well and the curtain of depression veils my soul, believing, “I’m grateful for another day of life” seems difficult.

Everyone struggles. I don’t know your struggles and you don’t know mine, but I can assure you all of them do not revolve around the current pandemic or the recurring equality struggles. These are big struggles with huge problems attached.

Does that mean my struggles aren’t important?

The Climate of All-or-Nothing

The climate on social media has become a bit negative. There’s a definite air of “if you don’t agree with me then you’re divisive and hateful.” This creates a sense of all-or-nothing that defies logic and creates hurt.

This is the reason I’ve been more of a stalker on social media since early in May. I have responsibilities to two pages that I’ve been maintaining, and I don’t want to be absent to friends, family and fans who only connect with me via Facebook. But my notifications are off. I don’t check in with my feeds as regularly.

Why? Seeing so much unkindness hasn’t been good for my mental and emotional health.

Generally, the reemergence of sunshine in the cloudy Pacific Northwest and longer days send my depression packing. At least it curbs the SAD portion.

But not this year. This year has been a struggle because of the worldwide pandemic and the repercussions it has brought into all of our daily lives.

I don’t share my thoughts, opinions or struggles on social media. As I was informed when I shared a post from a blogger I follow (about the same time I took my social media hiatus) “Posting on social media means you’re inviting controversy and push back.”

Really? Why can’t people recall what our mothers taught?

The negative posts and reprisals for every little thing exacerbated my struggles. I scrolled through to find the funny memes. But I didn’t repost them as I often might because there were scathing comments about making light of things.

Seriously? Some of us deal with hard times by inviting laughter. Ask my sister who frowned at me plenty of times when I made jokes as our mother was facing her final days of life. Oh, Mom laughed or rolled her eyes. But the focus on silliness kept me from crying, because who would THAT have helped?

This idea that things have to be all one way permeates the culture of social media, and that’s why I’ve had to stay away. It isn’t enough to stifle my thoughts, feelings and beliefs. Unless I agree with the prevailing mentality, I will be hounded and maligned.

Thanks, but no thanks.

But that’s not what this post is about.

The Science behind Gratitude

In 2016, I made 366 different memes. I got a bit creative with some of them.

Since then, I’ve dedicated each November to the attitude of gratitude. Here are some of my favorite memes from November 2019:

These two #30DaysofGratitude
From Day 10 #30DaysofGratitude
Friends are essential for #anattitudeofgratitude

I’m an author not a scientist, but I have experienced the truth behind this: daily gratitude increases my sense of well-being.

When I was first diagnosed with depression, I didn’t want to take medicine, so my doctor gave me a list of activities to complete each day that were scientifically proven to increase serotonin and dopamine production and/or decrease cortisol. One of those activities was to think about and verbalize something you are grateful for.

Positive thinking isn’t a cure-all. There is no single curative for every physical or mental ill. However, retraining your mind to have a positive reaction in the face of unwelcome surprises does have benefits – both physical and mental.

Whatever you’re struggling with today, I’m sorry you have to face it. I wish I could make it disappear. The truth is that hardships make us stronger and can grow compassion in our hearts if we don’t harden them with bitterness.

Waking up each morning and saying or writing down three things you’re grateful for can help. Some days, it won’t be easy. We don’t “feel” grateful if we wake up in pain or without enough sleep to satisfy our bodily needs. If someone we loved is dying or we’re grieving any sort of loss, it can be exponentially more difficult to find something positive.

Gratitude can be cultivated. Your heart might not know it, but the chemicals in your brain are reacting even when gratitude feels fake or forced.

Let’s give it a try. Comment with one thing you’re grateful for today.

4 thoughts on “Everyone Struggles but Gratitude Can Help”

  1. Giving thanks is so much better than giving up – such a good way of looking at it. And it’s a sad day when anything that brings joy is cold-shouldered. I think you’re wise limiting/avoiding social media for your well-being, and I’m sure you’re not the only one!

    1. I’m thankful for your insightful and encouraging comments here on my blog. I feel like I “know” you but you live on the other side of the world and we’ve never met “in person.” For connections such as this, I am thankful for social media and the World Wide Web. Sadly, some people choose to spread negativity during these troubled times instead of promoting a positive outlook. When I’m trapped inside my head for too long, those voices can seem more true than God’s Word. That’s when I know it’s time to turn the volume down on the world’s rhetoric so I can hear God’s still small voice. Thank you for being part of the solution for me 🙂

  2. I was so thankful to have the day off! I enjoyed a slow morning, taking my time going through my morning routine. The sun was out and the sky was blue which brightens everything! Even tho it was windy out, it wasn’t cold, so that was a plus.
    Many mornings that I wake up and don’t immediately think of things that I am grateful for- I realize that I slept in a very comfortable bed in a warm house. I have clean drinking water at my fingertips and can wash my clothes and my body whenever I want.
    There are so many things in our lives that we take for granted. I try to remember to be thankful for what we consider the” little things” in life.

    I also agree that when struggling or fighting depression it is better to turn off the negative media. This isn’t burying your head, it is being wise and part of good self care.

    1. Slow days are the best! I just finished a reading plan called “Holy Hustle” ad it really struck me that we were raised to find success in getting a long list of things done. But that isn’t necessarily the truth. The creative burnout and the upcoming end to all my publishing contracts has shown me that I placed too much value and emphasis and my accomplishments. I thought I had come so far but…nope. I’m grateful God isn’t finished teaching me and molding me into the image of Jesus. I am thankful for you and the people who take time to read and comment on my blog.

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