No matter how I say this, someone will interpret incorrectly (ie. So I look bad). I wish my nest was empty again.
I know, I’ve been so focused on other things this past year, I haven’t mentioned a topic that many of you began following me to read about. You know, life after your children leave.
Perhaps I haven’t been able to post on the subject because I haven’t been experiencing it.
Remember when I was sad about seeing my older son leave for college. Refresh your memory here.
And then my younger son went to college and for some reason things started getting romantic around the house again. Yep, that post is here.
What happened after that?
My oldest son graduated from college.
And moved back in with us.
Oldest Moves In
Rewind to June 2013. It’s a happy day. Our first born son completed four years of college and earned a Bachelor of Science in Computer Software Engineering.
And moved in with us “just until I get a job.”
And proceeded to take the “summer off.” He flew to Vegas to visit a friend, traveled to Idaho to see he girlfriend and took multiple road trips to hang out with college buds.
And the months passed. He applied for a few jobs. Interviewed for even fewer.
Fast forward to January 2014 when he lands a job working for his dad’s former employer (a place he held a summer job several years ago). Hurray!
February he purchases a $20,000 car. He’s paying $1000 per month on his student loans.
When’s he going to move out? Shrug is the answer.
Oldest Moves Out
After two years of marketing it, time comes when our house sells.
“They sold the house out from under me.” Really?
“I wasn’t invited to live in the new house.” True, but we would have allowed it.
Still, isn’t a year of living rent-free (while being gainfully employed) enough time to build up a cushion so you can rent your own place?
That’s March 15, 2015.
New and Empty
On April 3, we moved into our new home.
Brand. Spanking. New.
It was me, hubs and the two cats. And all the piles of boxes.
But, after a few weeks, things were mostly organized and in their proper places. The new office inspired words galore.
Hubs traveled to China. It was the truly empty nest of silent bliss.
Fast forward to May 2.
Our youngest son graduates from college with a Bachelor of Business Marketing degree.
Youngest Moves In
And moves in to the empty nest.
Suddenly, having college graduates for children doesn’t look so lovely, does it? I mean, that’s the common thread in the return to the empty nest.
Even if the youngest would have had a job, he wanted to live with us (“And get the same deal” his brother got).
Sure. Free is the best price.
He’s saving for a wedding, being married, and setting up an apartment. His reasoning is sound. Savvy even.
But it means my nest is no longer empty. My house has been invaded by people who wonder what’s for dinner. People who mess up my perfectly decorated guest room.
People who cook late night snacks and leave my kitchen looking worse than a plundering tornado would.
And here we are. Do I love my son and his fiancé? Sure. But there are a few things I’m not too thrilled about. Funny thing – the cause complained about the same thing a few months ago.
Come back next week to read more about Being the Thing you Despise in Others.
4 thoughts on “Wishing for the Empty Nest”
That’s got to be rough, Sharon. My husband and I are planning on building a tiny house when our daughter graduates from high school, so the good news it will literally be too small for her to live with us after she graduates from college. 🙂
As much as we love her and will be sad to see her go, we’ve been looking forward to an empty nest pretty much from the day we brought her home from the hospital. The idea of getting her out and on her own to just move back in a few years later does not appeal to me in the least. I know it makes me sound like a horrible mom, but so be it.
On a side note, how sad is it that young adults are graduating from college and can’t find a job, but have student loans to repay (some of which the monthly payments are higher than or close to their monthly salary when they *find* an entry-level job)…there’s something really messed up about that and I truly feel for them having to start out their adult lives behind the financial eight ball.
Here’s wishing you an empty nest again…and soon!
And, no, I don’t think you sound like a terrible mom. Our job as parents is to raise independent adults who will be productive citizens living in their own homes. Right?
Don’t look forward to an empty nest too much. It will arrive before you’re ready. Even though it seems like HS graduation is far away for your freshman, it will be here in the blink of an eye.
The fact my youngest doesn’t have a job is partly on him. He was promised a position with a company he interned with but then the budget fell through. Rather than looking for other jobs, he has pretty much assumed things will work out. Not in this economy, but he’s still of the mindset that he knows more about it than his parents.
I think it’s fair to expect everyone in a household to pull their weight. If for whatever reason they can’t contribute financially, they can do more of the housework. As the Good Book says, “If anyone will not work, let him not eat.” 🙂
Agreed. And this is something I thought I instilled in both of my sons. I think there’s something about living with parents that makes some people revert to childish thinking. And I’m frustrated because I thought I was the parent of adults and wouldn’t have to revisit these basic lessons.